JAKE29 - 2020 ROSCO'S ANNOUNCEMENT:

Good morning everyone:

If you are receiving this text it is because you have been invited to the annual Jake HoliDAY. It also means at least one person on the invited list likes you and requested you be invited to Jake Day. However, there is one person invited that nobody really likes, we just don’t know how to not invite him.😀 Ok, I know I have some Libs on this list so I have to follow up with .. I am only kidding. We like everyone! My comment was meant as a joke (A thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.) Although one could argue it was a bad joke which I am known for.

That’s right, Jake Day could get political. And why not?! What’s a day out with friends that doesn’t include conversations about religion, politics, families and pointing out everyone’s now evident physical and mental flaws. It’s going to be an amazing day! Some won’t remember it because they drank too much and others just won’t remember it.

Welcome to the “New Normal”. AARP Jake Day. In three years, it will officially become Senior Citizens Jake Day. If it hasn’t already. The speed I run at these days makes me think we are well into senior citizen Jake Day. I’m sure many of you fondly remember daily the grace, speed, quickness and athleticism I displayed for many years. And all I can say is..you’re welcome. But things are much different now, so make sure to bring your best knee and hip replacement stories. Older folks like us enjoy a good story. Also, if everyone is well behaved on Jake Day maybe we’ll go to the supermarket twice and sample some free produce.

Ok, so, this is a long text. What of it? No worries...only 75 more paragraphs to go.

Details of Jake will follow and a brief overview is below but the main purpose of this text is to determine who plans on attending Jake Day. Fifth paragraph to get to the main subject, that’s normal, right? I'm not an author but I can see how many of you could think I was..

Anyway, see the Jake Day overview below and let me know if you plan on attending. No worries if you can’t attend, you just won’t be invited ever again, unless your decline of the invitation is heavily loaded with apologies and overblown excuses. Having the Wuhan Chinese Corona Virus (WCCV) is a valid excuse not to attend Jake Day. Having Covid 19 is not a valid excuse. By the way, God forbid anyone gets sick and if you are sick, I sincerely pray your symptoms are or will be minimal but we would still appreciate an annoyingly heartfelt decline of the invite if your health allows.

OVERVIEW

Bad news first: Jake will be on the south side this year. South of Boston that is. That’s what happens when south side members plan Jake Day. Plus, the north side has a had a long consecutive run on Jake Day recently. Selfish bastards! And I can name names but I won’t at this juncture. Ha, I can’t remember ever using the word juncture in a written sentence before. It feels good.

How many invitees did we just lose with the announcement that Jake will be on the south shore? Good news is traffic will be much lighter due to the the stay at home advisory which I never got to enjoy because I work at a hospital. Yes, looking for sympathy there. Although I work at a hospital I think it’s prudent to mention I am not a doctor but I can see how you guys could think I was.

Moving on...

I guess I should mention Jake Day is Friday June 19th. How many invitees did we lose with that announcement? Let me guess, people have end of quarter bullshit. Too bad! It’s the 19th and there is nothing I can do about it. It’s in the bylaws or will be if we ever create bylaws.

OK HERE’S THE REAL Overview:

Breakfast: NOT at 7am. I’m thinking 8:30ish. Site to be determined. I will make sure they offer cottage cheese for you know who.

Golf: 10:30ish. A nice par three called Squirrel Run in Plymouth, MA., if they’ll have us. $20 to walk 18 holes. Pretty darn good if you ask me. Disinfected pull carts available for rent.

Lunch:

TBD. Probably Downtown Plymouth somewhere.

Festivities:

During WCCV times, there is not much to do out in public. Thinking mini golf and batting cages if we can find one open. Slow pitch cage only for most of us. Then, food, beverages, edibles for those that desire and have them, Adderall for the group if anyone has any they are willing to share. We’ll have games, competitions and maybe old school swimming pool baths like we took as kids. Back shaving is highly encouraged as usual.

Specific details and locations to follow for those that are attending. Again, please let me know if you are attending. Would love to see everyone. Miss you guys. I hope all are well.

In the words of a great philosopher “There is always room for Jake Day in my life.” -Aristotle

Let me know.

Stay safe.

PS-please send invite to others if you want to.

Thanks-Rosco