Lt. Stalkfleet:

It was picture day – October/November of 1987 and Lieutenant Stalkfleet woke up in a fowl mood as usual. He was tired of having his lunch money taken from him 3 to 4 times per week. Tired of the constant snickering whenever he entered the showers after gym class. For him high school was one tortuous day after another and senior year proved to be no better than the previous 5.

“Smile” the photographer said… but Stalkfleet would have none of it. “C’mon, give us a smile, sunshine” he said again in a playful voice. Stalkfleet barked “Shut up you silly photaug wussy before I shove that tripod up your ass!” Surprised and a bit startled the picture pro finally offered “well if you won’t smile at least look as though you’re contemplating the vast mysteries of the universe.”

“Perfect.”
Click…