Shouldn't you buy me dinner first or something?:

Gentlemen,

I am different today than I was yesterday. Something happened to me today that changed me in a profound way (and for the rest of my life).

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Oh yes we all had a good laugh when Rosco told the tale about his visit to the doctor's office back in the spring of 2008. Since his writing I'd have a passing thought here or there that someday I too would be subjected to those same events.

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Well gents, that day was today.

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Checked BP, listened to breathing, checked pulse, palpate stomach… "Okay buddy it's fun time!"

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Here we go.

Moon river… wider than a mile… I'm crossin' you in style…