Oh... My... Gawd...

THIS IS A TRUE STORY AND IT HAPPENED EXACTLY LIKE THIS, 2 NIGHTS AGO.

I'm in Dunkin' Donuts getting my wife 2 cups of coffee, 1 for that evening and 1 for the next day (she heats it up).

Playing the part of Chag will be me and playing the part of the coffee dispensing foreigner will be... Oh let's call her "Betty"

Chag: "I'd like 2 medium black decaf coffee's with no sugar please."
Betty: "You want sugar?"
Chag: "No, no sugar."
Betty: "Ok, medium right?"
Chag: "Yep, medium."

At this point I know I'm in trouble. Betty proceeds to make up my order - she puts 2 coffees on the counter and I pay her the appropriate funds, and just as I'm about to grab them and go, I say...

Chag: "Those are decaf, right?"
Betty [shaking her head]: "No no no, I'm sorry you want decaf?"
Chag: "Yeah, I'm sorry, decaf please."

Now I'm thinking what the fuck am I apologizing for she's the one who fucked this thing up.

Betty goes in for 2 more cups and is sure to make them decaf this time. She pours the coffees and just as she's putting the lid on the 2nd cup I glace behind the counter to see that the coffee has cream in it. She puts them on the counter at the same time I say...

Chag: "Is there cream in that? Because I wanted it black."
Betty: "Oh you want black!?" as if she's surprised.

Then she starts mumbling something incoherent, not really in her native tongue but still very much un-decipherable. Now we've got 4 wrong cups of coffee on the counter and I'm thinking I can't believe this.

Finally, Betty bears down and gets the order correct. Looking at all 6 cups on the counter I couldn't help but grin to myself as I grabbed the (correct) coffees to leave without a tray because Lord knows what would have happened if I asked for that.

This is not the first time DD's has botched one of my orders but it certainly is one of the worst. I swear anything beyond a medium regular and these people get flummoxed. Am I alone in this? It's like you wanna say, "do you have decaf coffee back there? Ok, here's what I want you to do; get a cup, go pour that coffee in it and hand it to me - okay?"

Now, I'm the furthest thing from a mean spirited person and it has nothing to do with her being for foreign, but sweet mercy, it's coffee.