Jake Winter Meetings 2007/08:

After an executive committee meeting (& wallyball game) last night there are 2 chaps who have stepped up large to run Jake 17. Brother Heff & Brother Stubby. Let's have a big round of applause for each of these brave souls.

Discussions being knocked around were to alter Jake this year to be more "sports/activity oriented" and less "drunken mess/hanging around in places we shouldn't be type of stuff".

In 10 years we can point to this meeting as the crucial moment at which Jake took a noticeable turn based on the inevitable fact that we're not as young as we used to be. It's a brave new world gentlemen - embrace it!

.

Those in attendance (in team order):

Chag, Stubby, Cool Chief**

&

Rosco, Heff, Dancer

Excuse me while I pop another Motrin...

** not an actual executive committee member

Old Heffnick:

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ IF HEFF REALLY WAS SANTA }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Dear Santa,

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

yer Frend,

BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa

________________________________________

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love,

Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa

________________________________________

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love,

Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screendoor in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.

Santa

_______________________________________

Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum set, a pony and a tuba.

Love,

Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay; I'll set you up with a Barbie.

Santa

________________________________________

Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love,

Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.

Santa

________________________________________

Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend,

Thomas

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa

________________________________________

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?Love,

Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa

________________________________________

Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy

Timmy,

What whiney begging shit may work with your over-indulgent folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.

Santa

________________________________________

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love,

Marky

Mark,

First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house; you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams,

Santa

Another Prediction From Squirrel:

We all remember Squirrel's last prediction...

Well Heff sent me another note to post here (see below). Good luck Squirrel.

-------------- Forwarded Message: --------------
From: Heff
To: Chagnasty
Subject: Please add to the Jake Blog
Date: Tue, 4 Dec 2007
-----------------------------------------------------

Chag,
Squirrel would like it on record that Tom Brady will win five Super bowls.

Thanks

Jakers Giving Thanks:

Hub, Dancer, Heff, Stubby, Cool Chief & myself were in attendance for our annual Pre-Thanksgiving night out. Dinner & drinks at the Chapeau proved to be a success as usual. Fairly low key and laid back with surprisingly decent food, cheap cigars an good conversation rounding out the night.

Disappointed in Rosco, Doc & Stalkfleet for not showing up but I'm sure each of them had great excuses.

Anyway the week before was the card game at Heff's and in case you wanted a peek of how a bachelor lives - here's what Heff had in the fridge the night of our card game.



He was the most gracious of hosts in a Felix Unger sort of way, baking his own cookies, lighting candles and generally making us as comfortable as possible. For the record I would say Squirrel would play the part of Oscar to a tee...