Hub Bio:

Name - Hub (a.k.a. Hub......bird!!)
Jake Status - Founding Member
Weight - 205 lbs.
Status - Married, 3 children (3 girls - good heavens)
Occupation - Restaurant/Beverage Manager
Golf handicap - 33
High School Picture

Hub is an easy going cat who would fit real nicely in a Jimmy Buffet song. He's got some great "brush with greatness" stories and always seems to be in the right place at the right time. A self proclaimed beach bum who used to kick it with his open top Wrangler when he lived on "The Island". If you want to know anything about alcohol Hub's your man. From beer & wine to liquers & hard stuff Hub can tell you what's good and what's crap (it's like his superhero power). When it comes to Jake, Hub has had an illustrious career. One of the more memorable moments comes to me from Jake 10 (2001) when he invited a younger chap by the name of Jimmy to join us. Jimmy, being new to the Jake scene, was quick to show us all that he could keep up. He had a youthful exuberance that was unmatched and he proceeded to throw down anything alcoholic he could get his hands on early & often. By 3pm (in a drunken stooper) he was on all fours, crawling out of the restaurant he'd just been tossed out of. Hub was in charge of getting him back to a hotel and once there the guy at the front desk said, "oh no you can't leave him here like that". To which Hub just smiled and said "he's your problem now". The police later picked up ol' Jimmy who has since garnered the nickname "Jimmy PC". We never saw him again and we never got to thank him.

GREAT JAKE MOMENT: (Jake 1) Hub with his Polka-dot shirt in the Jake 1 picture on the green - looking like Squirrel's gay lover (1992)

JAKE LOW-LIGHT: (Jake 10) Jimmy PC - nuff said... (2001)

You look hot... Thanks so do you

Here we are at Doc's wedding (Summer of '04). Starting left we have Stubby, Hub, Heff, Cool Chief in the back, Doc (the happy groom), Mashie & Dancer hiding way back, and finally yours truly (Chag-dawg). It was an outdoor wedding and what's better than lighting up some stoggies and kickin' it with your peeps. One thing though it was hot, like really hot, I'm talkin' intant swamp-ass type hot. Doc is one of the last of all of us to get married, that's if we don't count Squirrel, who's previously stated "challenges" have kept him otherwise occupied & Heff who is a confrimed bachelor and enjoys living his life stress free & unfettered. Also, as you can see, we've got some NON-JAKE MEMBERS who slimed their way into the photo. Nothing a little "computer magic" can't take care of.

Chag's Ramblings:

Should I be offended when I hear the song “Play that Funky Music White Boy”?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – nothing beats a really well made peanut butter & jelly sandwich and an ice-cold glass of milk.

Bin Laden would look good under my wheels.

On the “dating my daughter” front:
I think I’ll kill the first boy that comes to my house with a shotgun and just leave him on the front stoop. That way every other suitor will have to walk over that first guys dead body. Sends a message – I think…

Heff is right – taking a nap in the middle of the day is one of the great joys in life (I hope I get a chance to do that before I die).

Try this the next time your involved in conversation with someone from England, say something like “you know the Beatles weren’t so great!”… Their face will take on a remarkable shade of red.

To this day, any time I smell a cake mix I think of Rosco's Mom.

I’ll boil it down into the simplest of terms: I feel as though I should keep more of the money that I earn. So I’ll try to elect people who share that philosophy and at least say they will work towards that. It is beyond my comprehension that anyone would disagree with this.

J. Giels was a great band right up until (but not including) the Freeze Frame album.

I’m gonna say it was roughly June of 1996 when I made the full switch from briefs to boxers. Before that I just dabbled.

For the record – the proper procedure is as follows: Squeeze the toothpaste onto a dry brush, wet the combination and then go to your mouth. Anything else is just silly & frankly, wrong.

Merry Christmas (not happy holidays) to all!
Note: If I'm offending you by saying that too effin' bad.
---The Nasty

Doc Bio:

Name - Doc (a.k.a. Doctor or The Doctor)
Jake Status - Founding Member
Weight - 165 lbs. real wet
Status - Married, 2 children (1 boy, 1 girl)
Occupation - Contracting / Remodeling
Golf handicap - 19
High School Picture

The Doctor is the out-doorsman of the group. In his spare time (before the recent birth of his son) he competed in triathalons. That's running, swimming & biking all in the same event so suffice to say ol' Doc is/was in the appropriate shape to do this kind of thing. Never much appealed to me to do those 3 things all in a row, unless of course someone's chasing you - but I digress. Doc wasn't afraid to throw back a few exotic drinks in his younger days. I can think of a couple of "incidents" that I won't go into detail about. These days he's mellowed and enjoys a good micro-brew now an again so he can't be all that bad. He's an above average hockey player (relative to the rest of us) as is his wife who dabbled in Olympic hockey not so long ago. The real question is can they keep up the pace of the triathalon running family with the bambino or are the times a-changin'? Doc has missed at least one Jake Day due to living out-of-state (not that this should be an excuse). How did he escape some kind of probation for that?? Anyway, the picture above is during the now famous Jake 1. A nice touch is the photo copy of Jake in the salad bar.

GREAT JAKE MOMENT: Consistant contribition through the years.

JAKE LOW-LIGHT: (Jake 11) Swore he would show, up until the day before Jake and bailed. (2002)

AND IF THEY BURY HIS ASS UP, I'LL HAVE A PLACE TO PARK MY BIKE

Why am I hearing so much about this scumbag "Tookie" Williams? Why do I even know his name? He's dead and justice was served in my opinion. I support the death penalty because it's a deterrent. I would however make some changes. The first one being after you're found guilty beyond a reasonable doubt you have 24 hours to get your shit together and say goodbye to your peeps. This would save time, tax payers dollars and space on this planet (on the good side of the grass). Bottom line - if it deters one person it's a good thing. You gotta be 100% sure these people are guilty though. If you're not 100% then why are you locking them up to begin with? Support for the families of the people he killed is where the focus should be - not on some criminal gangsta piece of shit.

DISCLAIMER:
The thoughts, ideas & opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of all Jake members (sad but true).

Squirrel Bio:

Name - Squirrel
Jake Status - Founding Member
Weight - 190 lbs.
Status - Single, no kids (at the time of this writing)
Pets - His dog Jake!
Occupation - None (used to be in construction)
Golf handicap - 4 (when he plays semi-regularly)
High School Picture

Chag named him Squirrel because he's kind of wiley and sly always darting his eyes around and being keenly aware of his surroundings. He is a natural athlete and a fierce competitor. He contends in all he attempts, be it, hockey, golf, darts, billiards whatever. You'll be hard pressed to beat him and when you do you should be proud of yourself. Squirrel has gone through many "phases" in his life and let's just say his most recent phase has been the most challenging. This picture was taken on Jake Day in 1994 (roughly). Sadly he was saying goodbye and leaving early that year but he's been a consistent contributor to the days festivities and he's about as close as you can get to a Jake purest. He looks like he might have had a few beers there eh? Ah well, at least he's not drivin'!

GREAT JAKE MOMENT: (JAKE 1) Squirrel points out that the label of the Old Grand-Dad bottle behind the bar looks exactly like Jake! (1992)

JAKE LOW-LIGHT: (JAKE 14) No show. (2005)

TP:

TP on the left - Heff-cat on the right.

There's another Jaker who has not been mentioned on this site yet, so I wanted to give him some air-time. I honestly don't know when TP (stands for Total Package) joined the fun on Jake Day but it had to be pretty early-on. If you bastards are going to hold a gun to my head and ask me to narrow it down I'd have to guess '96 or '97. This is not his bio so I'm not going to drone on but TP has been a valued member of the crew for some time.

This picture is taken on Jake 14 (2005) and that girl in the middle?... well I don't know who she is but she's certainly not with us.

Oh... My... Gawd...

THIS IS A TRUE STORY AND IT HAPPENED EXACTLY LIKE THIS, 2 NIGHTS AGO.

I'm in Dunkin' Donuts getting my wife 2 cups of coffee, 1 for that evening and 1 for the next day (she heats it up).

Playing the part of Chag will be me and playing the part of the coffee dispensing foreigner will be... Oh let's call her "Betty"

Chag: "I'd like 2 medium black decaf coffee's with no sugar please."
Betty: "You want sugar?"
Chag: "No, no sugar."
Betty: "Ok, medium right?"
Chag: "Yep, medium."

At this point I know I'm in trouble. Betty proceeds to make up my order - she puts 2 coffees on the counter and I pay her the appropriate funds, and just as I'm about to grab them and go, I say...

Chag: "Those are decaf, right?"
Betty [shaking her head]: "No no no, I'm sorry you want decaf?"
Chag: "Yeah, I'm sorry, decaf please."

Now I'm thinking what the fuck am I apologizing for she's the one who fucked this thing up.

Betty goes in for 2 more cups and is sure to make them decaf this time. She pours the coffees and just as she's putting the lid on the 2nd cup I glace behind the counter to see that the coffee has cream in it. She puts them on the counter at the same time I say...

Chag: "Is there cream in that? Because I wanted it black."
Betty: "Oh you want black!?" as if she's surprised.

Then she starts mumbling something incoherent, not really in her native tongue but still very much un-decipherable. Now we've got 4 wrong cups of coffee on the counter and I'm thinking I can't believe this.

Finally, Betty bears down and gets the order correct. Looking at all 6 cups on the counter I couldn't help but grin to myself as I grabbed the (correct) coffees to leave without a tray because Lord knows what would have happened if I asked for that.

This is not the first time DD's has botched one of my orders but it certainly is one of the worst. I swear anything beyond a medium regular and these people get flummoxed. Am I alone in this? It's like you wanna say, "do you have decaf coffee back there? Ok, here's what I want you to do; get a cup, go pour that coffee in it and hand it to me - okay?"

Now, I'm the furthest thing from a mean spirited person and it has nothing to do with her being for foreign, but sweet mercy, it's coffee.