Happy Birthday to The Chief:

More Birthday wishes going out the Cool Chief today. He's the 2nd cat to 39 out of all the Jake boys (Heff was 1st). Here's Chiefy at Jake 15, we call this one "crazy eyes". Oh and that's Squirrel in the back drinking a bottle of water. I can't believe I just typed 'Squirrel' and 'drinking a bottle of water' in the same sentence.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Chief and many more brother! Hope all is well on your end. It'd be great if you could take some time out of your busy schedule to comment on the site now and again but hey, we can't have everything.

TP's Birthday

Let's all take a moment to wish the K.O. Kid a very Happy Birthday today!

FYI:
Heff says if you miss another breakfast and/or golf you'll be broken down to "Associate" member status faster than you can say Bob's your uncle. Enjoy it while you can bro.

Here's the Total Package "catching up" after missing the first hour-&-a-half at the Chapeau. Yet another strike against him...

Set Dates for Future Jakes:

From: [Dancer]
Sent: Wednesday, June 21, 2006 4:42 PM
To: Chag & Heff
Subject: Summer Solstice

Now I know why the 3rd week in June was picked for JAKE...
Summer Solstice!
The longest day of the year!
Quite appropriate.
We need to get back on this plan.

From: [Heff]
Sent: Thursday, June 22, 2006 10:35 AM
To: Dancer & Chag
Subject: RE: Summer Solstice

Agreed – Executive Committee unanimously approves a set Jake Day date.

From: [Dancer]
Sent: Thursday, June 22, 2006 1:31:18 PM
To: Chag & Heff
Subject: Summer Solstice

Yes, here they are for the next 5 years:

Jake 16 - 6/22/07
Jake 17 - 6/20/08
Jake 18 - 6/19/09
Jake 19 - 6/18/10
Jake 20 - 6/24/11

No exceptions.

{{{... Chag's comment ...}}}
Barring any weddings, bar mitzvah, christenings (where you're the Godfather) or funerals - This sounds like a great idea to me. Put them down in your calendars boys. Plan your vacations and fiscal responsibilities accordingly.

Sorry girls, he's available!

Ladies, gentlemen and kids of all ages, please join me in wishing a heartfelt Happy Birthday to the Heff-cat!!

{{wild applause}}

Here are some freelicious deals for you my brother!

New Rule:

Pending approval by the Founders:
A bottle of Old Grand-Dad (a.k.a. Jake juice) will be required at all future Jakes.

Prior to Jake, one cat will be assigned to bring it - along with Dixie cups for shooting. He will also be responsible for concealing it and taking it in town with us until it is finished.

It worked out well this year. Everyone does a shot after golf in the parking lot which leaves maybe 3 or 4 shots that can be 'administered' later in the day as we see fit.

Happy Father's Day to all Jake members!

Jake 15 Thoughts by Rosco:

{{{{{{...... Submitted by Rosco ......}}}}}}

If this is any indication on how future Jake Days are going to be ... I'm out!

38 Years of trying to score chicks and Chief figures out the golden secret on Jake 15... 15 years too late.

How the hell are we going to fit Dee's name on that trophy?

I had 8 shots to the best of my recollection. 3 grape crush's, 3 Washington apples, 1 tequila and a Grand-Dad.

Ciderjacks have way more alcohol than beer.

The music was too loud but Dancer and I can dance our asses off to this new kind of music. When I say new, I mean new to me - I am sure you guys have been aware of it for the last five years.

That's about all I remember except that TP has great hair. I called a lot of people gay and there were two hot girls at Henny's that as I think back, may not have been that hot.

Smart Jake members:
Stubby, Doc, JV, Keith K.

Not so smart members:
Chief, Dancer, Heff, TP, Stalkfleet, Dee, Tuck, Hub.

Absolute Idiot members:
Me (Rosco).
Squirrel- for ordering 8 rounds of shots.
Chag- for bringing the Old Grand-Dad.

Jake 15 - 2006

L-R: TP, Stalkfleet, Dancer, JV, Keith K*, Cool Chief, Dee, Heff, Tuck*, Hub, Doc, Chag, Rosco & Squirrel.

For more Jake 2006 pictures go to the JAKE PHOTO SITE link. There are some instant classics included. The photo site is password protected.

Any comments about the day please submit to my personal e-mail and I'll make sure they get on the site at some point.

Jake 16 is only 12 short months away...

* - Tuck & Keith K. are 1st year cats - We're not sure if they're interested in taking on Junior status or just being "incidental participants".

Giddiness Abounds

All systems are go.

Welcome Jake Day!

Stalkfleet quells the rebellion:

With only 2 days till Jake, some of the Founders have expressed both surprise and dismay at the newcommers suggestions with regard to itinerary for Jake Day.

"Why must we be inundated with this nonsense from 'extras' regarding all of their thoughts about what WE should be doing on Our Jake Day." Was a conversation overheard between 2 Founding members under condition of anonymity.

At the apex of this near riot our fearless leader had this to say...

{{{{{{...... Stalkfleet's attempt to regain control ......}}}}}}

OK, LISTEN UP!!!!

Jake 15 is slowly spiraling out of control and since i am in charge this year, it doesn't matter to me what anyone says about Fridays itinerary. This is a free country, that is why all the immigrants come here, and that is why Stubby & Rosco are allowed to have their own little off site meeting, and that is why they can have Jake 16 at Walmart next year if they want to. I believe they call it free speech. People can voice their opinions and we can choose to listen or ignore what they say. As for Tuck's comments, the content was signed off by me since he sits right next to me. As for JV, i have no control over what he decides to send out. He is digging his own grave. Now if everybody can just calm down and let Friday come along so we can all get $#@! up! I am sure the beer is going to taste the same no matter where the hell we are. Oh, by the way JV, i have to agree with Heff, you can't trash the [The Chapeau] and expect to move your way up the Jake ladder. It does not work that way.

So, with that i leave you. Stubby, i wish you a speedy recovery and hope to see you and everyone else Friday morning.

LT

Major Jake Day Development

Knock knock
Who's there?
Stubby's uvula
Stubby's uvula who?
I don't know folks...

But I do know this - Stubby Malone is questionable for Jake on account of some throat issues he's dealing with. He recently had some surgery and is recovering nicely.

Updates will follow when info becomes available.

The odds makers are scrambling as we speak to accurately handicap the team of Stubby & Hub.
Will Stubby play?
Will there be a replacement?
Does this mean Stubby will have only ice cream for dinner?

Right now I'd say he's a 50/50.

Stay tuned...

RAIN DATE:

DON'T BE FOOLISH, THERE ARE NO RAIN DATES FOR JAKE DAY.

IF THE GOLF COURSE ALLOWS PLAY, WE WILL BE PLAYING - RAIN OR SHINE.

(and to steal a phrase from the Jake 1 agenda)

IF YOU DO NOT ATTEND, THE WRATH OF JAKE WILL FOLLOW YOU...

(not to mention you're a weak gutless fag)

T - minus 4 days...

A classic among classics:

L-R: Hub, Doc, Chag, Heff, Cool Chief, TP, Stubby, Rosco, Dancer & Lt. Stalkfleet.

It has been discussed that Jake Day is about doing some things you don't normally do. Such is the case for this moment in 1999. I mean how often do you wear underwear on the outside of your clothes and take pictures with lawn equipment? Where the hell was Squirrel? - You might ask yourself. I do not know but I wanna say he met us later in the day.

Less than 2 weeks away...

Gentlemen, a word:

I just want to say that this blog is not mine - it belongs to ALL Jake members. It's not just for me to spew 'all things Jake' upon the vast audience who frequent this site (pretty much just us). That said, if anyone has something interesting to say about any subject what-so-ever (Jake or otherwise) please don't hesitate to e-mail me personally and I will be only too happy to post it here on the site. Equally, if you see a picture from the Jake Photo Site that you want me to put up in conjunction with the text, just say the word.

If no one has anything, I'm just going to start putting up fantasy hockey statistics from the early 90's (that's interesting to everyone right?).

JAKE MEMBERSHIP:

As a matter of course I think it prudent to outline the levels of membership and put forth a few guidelines for becoming a Jake Member. Starting at the bottom of course.

Junior Membership:
If someone expresses an interest in joining our group, they do this by way of “Junior Membership”. Juniors must complete a 3 year apprenticeship meaning they must participate in all aspects of Jake Day (i.e. golf/lunch/drinks/dinner/drinks). Those who are present for only some of those facets will be required to repeat their prior year. An example would be, if a new 1st year member, we'll call him (oh, I don't know) Dee, participates in golf but does not make it to say drinks or dinner or even drinks, he would be required to repeat his 1st year again. Even if someone is on their 3rd year and they miss one of the aspects of the day they would have to repeat their 3rd year the following Jake Day.

Associate Membership:
Once the apprenticeship is complete to the satisfaction of the Founders, the Junior would move up to "Associate Member" status. This is also known as "Chief" status. Here they will hone their skills and enjoy the full compliment of privileges that go along with Jake membership*.

Full (Partner) Membership:
After Associate Members, there is another level of membership reserved for only the most dedicated of individuals. People who exemplify what it truly means to embrace Jake and all he stands for. It takes years of service and perseverance. By a majority vote, only the Founders have the ability to elevate someone from Associate to Partner and it's only happened once so far. This is something to strive for gentlemen. It's not to be taken lightly and it's not for the squeamish.

Founding Members:
The original 9 who gathered that fateful day on the 19th of June 1992 (Jake 1).
~ Dancer ~ Heff ~ Rosco ~ Stubby ~ Chag ~
~ Doc ~ Lt. Stalkfleet ~ Hub ~ Squirrel ~

Good luck gentlemen, good luck and Godspeed.

* = in reality there are no real privileges to being a Jake member.

Definition:

Direct from Webster's:

Brief: short in duration, extent, or length*.

Antonym:

* Please refrain from the obvious sexual connotation/comparison here folks, you'll only encourage him.

Who is that girl?

Here we have another Jake 1 classic picture with (L-R) Stubby, forgive me I can’t remember who that girl is, Doc, Rosco & Squirrel.

This was at the place where we had lunch after golf. Beautiful stuff - mid-day, you’ve got the lunch crowd wondering what the hell these idiots are doing ordering up pitchers by the bushel. That reminds me, one of my favorite parts of Jake Day is watching for the reaction of "normal" people when they see us either in the street or in an establishment where they are trying to have an average Friday lunch/conversation. In come 12-15 of us being childish, juvenile, sophmoric (i.e. Jimmy PC - from Hub's bio). I call it "when Jake Day collides with other people’s normal day". This has a certain Seinfeld, "worlds colliding" type-effect, very entertaining.

Who has Jake?

This question is invariably asked every year. Every year we figure he's lost or broken and lying in the gutter somewhere but he shows up on Jake Day without fail. He's traveled the country side and survived the odd relocation while in one cat's possession or another but he always makes it out with us.

Unlikely but, anyone want to fess up?

Message to the Chief:

{{{{{{{{........ Submitted by Heff ........}}}}}}}}

"Almost" all of us went to Doc's for a birthday-cookout on Sunday with our families. Had some fun. While we were there we all discussed the possiblity of Cool Chief becoming a "Full" member but considering he didn't show up I guess that's not going to happen... He'll have to do some fancy shmancy drinking on Jake 15 to even be considered.

Stubby & Hub are the team to beat this year according to... Stubby & Hub.

Happy Birthday Doc:

Big birthday wishes going out to the Doctor today. Not only that but it's Arbor Day so I'm sure he's out planting trees. Anyone who can hit a 6-iron 210 yards is okay in my book.

JAKE DAY 2006 and some housekeeping items:

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The date for Jake Day has been set for June 2nd.

You may now begin requesting vacation days, formulating your "call-in-sick" stories, or in the case of Stubby or Heff, continue with your normal business day.

Also,
This Sunday is the big 3-club tournament and Team Jake (Heff, Chag, Dancer & Doc) will be looking for strokes from Rosco, Stubby and their 2 ringers.

The trophy will also be given to Rosco on Sunday so he can enjoy it with his family for a short period of time before me and my partner win it on June 2nd. TP, sadly, is going to get shafted out of keeping the trophy for himself unless Rosco finds a way to get it to him prior to Jake Day (this is a long shot at best). Speaking of partners, this will need to be discussed as well. I understand Stalkfleet's co-worker will not be joining us so we have a perfect 12 Jakers which should make for some great competition (as long as Squirrel doesn’t shoot lights out).