Happy Birthday to The Chief:

More Birthday wishes going out the Cool Chief today. He's the 2nd cat to 39 out of all the Jake boys (Heff was 1st). Here's Chiefy at Jake 15, we call this one "crazy eyes". Oh and that's Squirrel in the back drinking a bottle of water. I can't believe I just typed 'Squirrel' and 'drinking a bottle of water' in the same sentence.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Chief and many more brother! Hope all is well on your end. It'd be great if you could take some time out of your busy schedule to comment on the site now and again but hey, we can't have everything.

Keeping the galaxy safe:

Is it just me, or does England’s Prime Minister Tony Blair sound exactly like C3PO from StarWars?

The next time you hear him on the radio or TV, close your eyes and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

TP's Birthday

Let's all take a moment to wish the K.O. Kid a very Happy Birthday today!

FYI:
Heff says if you miss another breakfast and/or golf you'll be broken down to "Associate" member status faster than you can say Bob's your uncle. Enjoy it while you can bro.

Here's the Total Package "catching up" after missing the first hour-&-a-half at the Chapeau. Yet another strike against him...

Set Dates for Future Jakes:

From: [Dancer]
Sent: Wednesday, June 21, 2006 4:42 PM
To: Chag & Heff
Subject: Summer Solstice

Now I know why the 3rd week in June was picked for JAKE...
Summer Solstice!
The longest day of the year!
Quite appropriate.
We need to get back on this plan.

From: [Heff]
Sent: Thursday, June 22, 2006 10:35 AM
To: Dancer & Chag
Subject: RE: Summer Solstice

Agreed – Executive Committee unanimously approves a set Jake Day date.

From: [Dancer]
Sent: Thursday, June 22, 2006 1:31:18 PM
To: Chag & Heff
Subject: Summer Solstice

Yes, here they are for the next 5 years:

Jake 16 - 6/22/07
Jake 17 - 6/20/08
Jake 18 - 6/19/09
Jake 19 - 6/18/10
Jake 20 - 6/24/11

No exceptions.

{{{... Chag's comment ...}}}
Barring any weddings, bar mitzvah, christenings (where you're the Godfather) or funerals - This sounds like a great idea to me. Put them down in your calendars boys. Plan your vacations and fiscal responsibilities accordingly.

Sorry girls, he's available!

Ladies, gentlemen and kids of all ages, please join me in wishing a heartfelt Happy Birthday to the Heff-cat!!

{{wild applause}}

Here are some freelicious deals for you my brother!

Trophy engraved for 2006:

Here it is in all its glory.

The off season will bring discussions of whether the low handicappers should play alone in future years.

Basically we'll just keep tweaking the rules until I win the frickin' thing.

PAST COMPETITION CHAMPIONS:

2009

Chag & DeeKal - blind draw combined point total winners

2008

A FINE JOB BY DOC AT ALL THE EVENTS OF THE DAY!

2007

2006

2005

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE RULES AND THE TROPHY

Good clean idiocy:

I overheard an actual conversation the other day in a sub shop just as I was leaving. They were discussing the WWF (World Wrestling Federation, I think).

So one of the guys says: "you know they could stop a lot of the shenanigans that go on in the ring by putting another referee in there."

I think that statement pretty much stands on it's own and I have nothing more to say here...

New Rule:

Pending approval by the Founders:
A bottle of Old Grand-Dad (a.k.a. Jake juice) will be required at all future Jakes.

Prior to Jake, one cat will be assigned to bring it - along with Dixie cups for shooting. He will also be responsible for concealing it and taking it in town with us until it is finished.

It worked out well this year. Everyone does a shot after golf in the parking lot which leaves maybe 3 or 4 shots that can be 'administered' later in the day as we see fit.

Happy Father's Day to all Jake members!

Tale of the Trophy:

Let me take a moment to thank the Heff'in-ator for originally seeking out and ultimately purchasing both parts of the trophy for the annual Jake Scramble. It's an absolute work of art bro, great job.

Only one rule with regard to trophy possession:
YOU BREAK IT, YOU FIX IT!

This thread will detail who has the trophy and where it's been (for those who give 2 shits or less). It will be updated when the trophy changes hands. (find TROPHY FONT SPECS here)

5/19/05: Heff buys the 2 parts of the trophy and elicits Stalkfleets help in fusing the two.
7/15/05: (Jake 14) Won by Rosco, Lt. Stalkfleet & TP.
7/16/05: Chag takes it to have it repaired & engraved.
3/23/06: Presented to Lt. Stalkfleet.
4/23/06: Presented to Rosco (TP got shafted).
6/2/06: (Jake 15) Won by Dee & Keith K.
6/3/06: Chag takes it to have it engraved.
9/5/06: Presented to Keith K.
3/12/07: Abandoned by Keith K. after moving to NV.
3/12/07: Adopted by Heff after Keith's absence.
6/22/07: (Jake 16) Scramble ends up in a 3-way tie - Chag takes trophy home in the interim.
7/25/07: Won by Chag & Lt. Stalkfleet also for Dancer & Ashcan in a 3 hole tie breaker.
10/8/07: Chag takes it to have it engraved.
10/10/07: Chag presents trophy... to himself.
11/16/07: Presented to Dancer.
6/20/08: (Jake 17) Won by Doctor - he takes it home until engraving at later date.
4/3/09: Doc gives it back to Chag to be engraved.
4/4/09: Chag takes it to have it engraved.
6/19/09: (Jake 18) Won by Chag & DeeKal in blind draw - Chag has it until it gets engraved.
3/20/10: Chag takes it to have it engraved then presents trophy to himself... again.

Jake 15 Thoughts by Rosco:

{{{{{{...... Submitted by Rosco ......}}}}}}

If this is any indication on how future Jake Days are going to be ... I'm out!

38 Years of trying to score chicks and Chief figures out the golden secret on Jake 15... 15 years too late.

How the hell are we going to fit Dee's name on that trophy?

I had 8 shots to the best of my recollection. 3 grape crush's, 3 Washington apples, 1 tequila and a Grand-Dad.

Ciderjacks have way more alcohol than beer.

The music was too loud but Dancer and I can dance our asses off to this new kind of music. When I say new, I mean new to me - I am sure you guys have been aware of it for the last five years.

That's about all I remember except that TP has great hair. I called a lot of people gay and there were two hot girls at Henny's that as I think back, may not have been that hot.

Smart Jake members:
Stubby, Doc, JV, Keith K.

Not so smart members:
Chief, Dancer, Heff, TP, Stalkfleet, Dee, Tuck, Hub.

Absolute Idiot members:
Me (Rosco).
Squirrel- for ordering 8 rounds of shots.
Chag- for bringing the Old Grand-Dad.

72 Virgins:

I had my first alcoholic drink since Jake last night to toast the termination of this scumbag.

Bring on the next dirty-ass piece of shit who wants martyrdome...

Zarqawi - out the house yo.

2006 SCRAMBLE RESULTS

TORE UP THE COURSE
CONTENDERS
MIDDLE OF THE PACK
BIGGEST SURPRISE
STUBBY'S AILMENT PROVED COSTLY
JUST WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR...

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE OFFICIAL JAKE SCRAMBLE RULES

Jake 15 - 2006

L-R: TP, Stalkfleet, Dancer, JV, Keith K*, Cool Chief, Dee, Heff, Tuck*, Hub, Doc, Chag, Rosco & Squirrel.

For more Jake 2006 pictures go to the JAKE PHOTO SITE link. There are some instant classics included. The photo site is password protected.

Any comments about the day please submit to my personal e-mail and I'll make sure they get on the site at some point.

Jake 16 is only 12 short months away...

* - Tuck & Keith K. are 1st year cats - We're not sure if they're interested in taking on Junior status or just being "incidental participants".

Giddiness Abounds

All systems are go.

Welcome Jake Day!