Okay - we've all seen these kinds of lists but I'm running out of stuff to write so I've widdled this list (of like 25) down to what I considered to be the best 10. Have a ball...
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1: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
2: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask whose playing.
3: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
4: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
5: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.
6: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
7: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.
8: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
9: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever.
10: We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”
“BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!”
Labels: Humor
